


the theory of quantum entanglement

by reachedthebitterend



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Gratuitous Use of Science Metaphors, M/M, Not in linear order, Soul Bond, Soul Mate AU, tiny bit of smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-22
Updated: 2019-03-22
Packaged: 2019-11-27 19:25:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18198332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reachedthebitterend/pseuds/reachedthebitterend
Summary: a physical phenomenon that occurs when pairs or groups of particles are generated, interact, or share spatial proximity in ways such that the quantum state of each particle cannot be described independently of the state of the other, even when the particles are separated by a large distance; that is to say, they are not individual particles but are an inseparable whole





	the theory of quantum entanglement

**Author's Note:**

> I've been planning this fic since Michael Guerin used the word 'entropy' in like normal conversation, and then he interrupted Alex's Big Speech to say 'COSMIC' in like the world's most self assured I've thought about this constantly tone, and I am still???not??okay?????

It always happened, but every single time it leaves Michael feeling like he’s empty inside.

Alex doesn’t really understand because he doesn’t want to understand it because he would rather ignore it than actually deal with it.

Michael has done nothing but try to understand and the best he can come up with is that they are intrinsically linked, like the atoms that make up the very fabric of the space they occupy are covalent bonds that can be stretched to the limits of the imagination, but never broken.

The closest that it comes to feeling broken is when Alex cuts the connection off, building a wall between them using his emotions and the physical distance to place a block on the bond, and it makes Michael feel unstable, like something is wrong, like something is _missing_.

Alex walks away after calling him a criminal, and Michael fights against the urge to chase after him to make things alright again. But he knows it won’t work.

Not when he starts to feel the hollow feeling in the middle of his chest.

He needs to not be-

 

-

 

-sober, because he can feel it more then.

Feel the taught strings like piano wires wrapped around his ribcage. Feel them tugging at him relentlessly, pulling him further and further East everytime he moves his rig. Feel the faint echo of a heartbeat in the dark, matching his beat for beat for beat for beat for-

 

-

 

“-beat. Breathe with me. Come on. That’s it, Guerin.” Alex’s voice is low and soothing in his ear. He’s got his arms wrapped tightly around Michael’s chest pressed against his back, fingers wrapped around his wrists, holding Michael together as he shakes and tries to breathe.

“I-I don’t-I don’t-” Michael tries to speak, but he can’t make the words come out when all he can do is gasp weakly.

“Shh, just come on,” Alex tightens his hold on Michael. “Concentrate on me, okay? Just like how when we’re practicing. Focus on what I'm doing. Feel my heartbeat. Breathe with me. You can do it.”

Michael closes his eyes and tries to concentrate on Alex.

It’s not like it’s a difficult thing to do.

Alex is always the only thing that he can focus on whenever he enters a room. Michael finds himself drawn to him, finding himself in places where Alex is without even realizing that was where he was heading until he was there. He finds himself craving Alex’s attention to be solely on him, but doesn’t know how to react when he has it.

Colors light up his vision as he shuts his eyes tighter and matches his breathing to Alex’s-breathe in-one, two, three, four, five breath out-one, two, three, four, five.

Dark twilight blues and sickly yellow neon green weaving around each other like the aurora borealis.

He feels Alex’s heart beating against his back, feels his steady breaths.

Michael shudders when he feels how they sync up, beat to beat, breath to breath.

For a moment it feels like they’re occupying the same space in time, like their atoms are vibrating at the same frequency, like the universe doesn’t know where one of them ends and where the other begins.

Michael’s hyperfocus on Alex blocks everything out, quiets all the thoughts racing through his head. All he can feel is Alex’s fingers warm around his wrists, and Alex’s chest pressed close to his back, his arms enveloping him making Michael feel _safe_ in a way that nothing ever has.

Michael leans his weight back into Alex, and Alex’s fingers tighten around his wrists.

The bell ringing startles Michael out of it and makes him remember where they are.

He tenses in Alex’s hold, and Alex lets go of him immediately.

“So-sorry,” he stutters and he’s looking down and away when Michael turns to look at him.

Michael swallows hard and listens to the sounds of people moving up and down the hall.

He doesn’t know why he freaked out, but he does know that he would’ve never gotten himself this calm this fast without Alex’s help.

“Thanks,” he says, and Alex looks at him with startled eyes. “For helping me. And you don’t have to apologize. You didn’t do anything-”

 

-

 

“-wrong with you?” Isobel asks pushing him back so that he’s leaning back in his chair instead of leaning over the table.

“Nothing,” Michael responds, but he’s lying. There’s a strange feeling in his chest, but he’s too drunk to actually feel it. Something is wrong, like a discordant note being played over and over and over again.

“Does your chest hurt?” Isobel asks sounding concerned.

“No,” Michael says looking at her in confusion.

“Then what are you doing?” she says pointedly.

Michael looks down to see that he’d been rubbing his hand against his chest, right over his heart.

He stops and is about to drop his hand when the feeling of wrongness pushes through, invading his senses and chasing away the numbness of the alcohol.

He presses his hand harder against his chest-

- _to frantically feel his heartbeat. It’s beating. He’s alive. And that’s when the pain rips up his-_

-leg is on fire! Pain splintering in waves, radiating up his thigh and paralyzing him, stealing his breath, and he-

_-gasps in pain. And tries to think, tries to think. He has to calm down. Inhale-_

-exhale-

_-inhale-_

-exhale-

_-inhale-_

-exhale. “Michael!” Isobel says frantically, hands hovering over him. He blinks up at her and-

- _lights are suddenly blinding his vision. “Manes! Manes! Are you with me? Stay with-”_

“-me!” Isobel yells trying to tug his hand away from his chest, but he won’t let her. “If this is a trick, I am going to kick your butt all the way back to Foster Ranch so-”

_“-help you, okay,” the voice is saying, but he can barely understand it. The pain fading out the edges of his vision now that he knows that he’s relatively safe. “Manes! It’s okay! Let go. When you wake up everything is going to be-”_

 

-

 

“-okay?” Alex’s voice is soft and just a touch worried.

Michael licks his lips and looks over to where Alex is sitting up, leaning against the headboard in a way that’s bound to get uncomfortable real soon. Michael moves from where he was sitting on the edge of the bed and slides closer to Alex, reaching out a hand so that he can help him sit all the way up.

Alex sits facing him, the sheet pooling in his lap.

“Is everything okay?” he repeats again, reaching out and placing a hand on Michael’s forearm.

Alex’s touch always strikes a chord deep inside of him that makes the air catch in his lungs and his eyes flutter close.

Michael inhales slowly as Alex’s fingers slide down to press against his wrist.

Michael exhales and feels Alex doing the same beside him as he slides his fingers lower, tracing the palm of Michael’s hand before he’s twining their fingers together and pressing their pulses against each other, beating in sync.

Michael feels a shiver down his spine that splinters throughout his entire nervous system.

Michael tugs Alex’s hand to his face, pressing a kiss to the back of it and looking at Alex who’s smiling softly, cheeks a little bit pink, eyes on Michael as though he’s the only thing Alex ever wants to look at.

He pulls Alex’s hand to his bare chest, pressing his hand palm down against his skin over his heart, keeping one hand pressed over Alex’s before he reaches out and presses his left hand in the same spot on Alex’s chest.

Alex presses his other hand over Michael’s.

They breathe in sync.

The bond manifests slowly and hazily, like sunlight shining through the clouds.

Dark twilight blues and sickly yellow neon green in wisps like ribbons made of colored smoke, weaving around each other, within them and around them.

Alex looks at him eyes bright and endless, and Michael feels the warmth spread through him, lighting up the the ribbons like lightning inside of a cloud.

He watches Alex and Alex watches him back.

The warmth between them flickers hotter when Alex starts rubbing his thumb back and forth right against the sensitive skin of the side of Michael’s wrist.

Michael looks at Alex through half lidded eyes, noticing in an offhand fashion how the blues start fading into mauve and how the green starts deepening until there’s no more yellow.

Alex licks his lips eyes moving from Michael’s eyes to his mouth to his eyes and then back to his mouth as he tongues the corner of his mouth.

Michael breaks the connection between them surging forward and pressing Alex down on the sheets as the colors fade into nothing.

Michael kisses Alex and Alex opens up to him easily. Michael wraps his fingers around Alex’s-

 

-

 

-wrist and tugs him to a standstill.

Alex stops but sighs in annoyance, pulling away from Michael’s hold and turning around to face him.

Michael flexes his fingers and inhales trying to get a hold of himself, but everything inside of him is begging him to reach out and touch Alex again.

But Alex has made it obvious that he wants nothing to do with Michael or the bond they share.

“You don’t have to go,” Michael says when Alex gives him a pointed look.

Alex sighs opening his mouth to speak, but Michael continues to talk over him.

“You rarely visit. I live here. I can find something else to keep me occupied for the short time you’ll be in town visiting your friends.”

When Alex doesn’t say anything beyond watching him intently, Michael just rolls his eyes and pointedly takes several steps to his truck.

He scoffs and turns and just continues to walk when Alex just continues to stare.

He rubs his hand against his chest absentmindedly, and sighs. Seeing Alex was supposed to ease the hollow feeling not make it worse.

A hand wraps around above his elbow and tugs him around hard and with too much force causing him to stumble into the person.

Alex freezes as Michael catches himself on his shoulders, their feet overlapping, pressed together from knees to chest.

Alex stares at him eyes wide and dark, and Michael stares back not being able to look away.

They breathe but it’s not quite in sync, and the hollow feeling inside of him expands making him feel sick.

Alex’s eyes are bright with unshed tears, and he opens his mouth to speak, but Michael doesn’t really want to hear anything that he’s about to say.

He reaches for him, fingers digging into the back of his neck, pulling him in and pressing their mouths together hard and demanding, biting against Alex’s lips until Alex is kissing him back.

Alex pushes him backwards until Michael is hitting the side of his truck.

Alex presses in close, hands frantic and Michael feels like they’re touching him all _over_ , digging through his hair, sliding down his neck, tugging at his shirt, scratching up his back, dipping into the waistband of his jeans.

Alex kisses him hard, biting against his lips, sliding his tongue into Michael’s mouth, and obliterating every thought from Michael’s head.

Michael feels lightheaded, and he sees the colors muted but still there, dark plums and vibrant greens.

His fingers scramble to the hem of Alex’s shirt and he tries to slide his hand underneath, before Alex’s fingers are wrapping around his wrist and pulling his hands away, pressing them down on either side of Michael’s head before he’s pulling back, mouths separating with a gasp.

Alex looks deep into Michael’s eyes, and Michael feels caught.

He closes his eyes and relaxes in Alex’s hold even though he knows that Alex is just trying to stop him from ripping apart the wall he has blocking their bond.

He knows this is going to make it hurt even more when Alex inevitably leaves again, but Michael is selfish.

He'll take Alex anyway that he can have him.

Alex's fingers tighten on his wrists and he leans in close.

Michael's eyes flutter open.

Alex whispers, “Just let-”

 

-

 

“-me help you, okay?”

Alex’s voice is shaking, but his hands are sure on Michael’s right arm, wrapped tightly above his elbow and around his forearm, helping him up.

Michael wants to push Alex away and tell him that he doesn't need help. He wants to get in his truck and leave and find some place where he can lick his wounds in peace.

But more than that, something deep inside of him, needs to have Alex close right now, as close as possible.

Michael drops against Alex’s chest, leaning his forehead against his shoulder and pressing his right hand against Alex’s heart, the reassuring pulse starting to calm him almost immediately.

Alex drops his head against Michael’s and wraps one arm around him, the other between them making sure that Michael doesn’t hurt his hand even more in his attempt to get close.

They breathe in and out together, steady even breaths, calming down together.

Michael feels Alex’s heart beating, and can feel how his heartbeat slows to match his.

He presses in closer, and shudders when they sync up perfectly.

Alex’s hand slides down and presses right against his heart, and then he cries out in pain, and they both fall to their knees.

“ _Michael_ ,” he says pained, fingers digging into Michael’s back. “It hurts. _It hurts_. How are you-We have to-”

Michael pushes Alex back hard and the connection splinters.

They both stare at each other, Alex leaning back on his elbows, Michael leaning back on his calves, panting in sync.

The pain in Michael’s hand is still excruciating, but it feels like he’s stuck his hand in some freezing cold water to numb the pain a little.

Alex’s eyes are wet with tears, and his left hand is curled into a fist.

“What-?” he starts but then shakes his head and sits up, flexing his left hand and wiggling his fingers. “We have to go.”

Michael nods his head slowly.

Alex stands up and Michael follows him with his gaze not moving at all.

Alex watches him for a second before he’s holding his hand out.

Michael watches him, and then reaches out, sliding his hand into-

 

-

 

-Alex’s and tugging him into a spin before he’s crashing into Michael’s arms, laughing.

He wraps his arms around Michael’s shoulders and gives him a smile when Michael starts to clumsily waltz them around the kitchen.

Michael watches Alex’s face, the way he closes his eyes and starts to hum to the song, swaying in time to the music and forcing Michael to follow along.

Michael slows them to a stop and watches as Alex’s eyes flutter open.

His smile goes soft and fond when he sees Michael looking at him, and he leans most of his weight on Michael making them press back against the counter.

Alex pushes their foreheads together and sighs.

Michael winds his arms tighter around Alex so that they’re pressed heart to heart.

They breathe in together and Michael closes his eyes feeling contentment and happiness.

The colors explode behind his eyelids, cornflower blues and lime greens.

He feels light and like maybe he’ll float away, but Alex keeps him tethered with his feet firmly planted on the ground.

Alex laughs again, soft and amazed.

Michael kisses him and it feels like he’s swallowing the-

 

-

 

-sun shines in his eyes and Michael feels so fucking _tired_ , and all he wants to do is _sleep_.

He’s almost completely sober for what feels like the first time in _weeks_ and he hates it more than he’s hated anything else.

His chest feels like it’s caving in, like there are millions of piano wires wrapped around his rib cage tightening the further away Alex goes.

He wipes the sweat from his forehead and then presses his hand against his bare chest, digging his fingers in as though the ache is something physical that he can ease.

He presses his palm-

_-flat to his chest to calm his racing heart. It was just a dream, just-_

-a flash, and Michael gasps and says, “-

_“-Guerin,” Alex gasps at the same time and his fingers dig in-_

-deeper and he feels a bubble of happiness of pure-

_-relief at feeling him like he’s right there standing right where Alex is sharing-_

-the same space, the same air, but at the same time it-

_-hurts so much, too much, a feeling like his chest is being split, a tugging in his stomach that makes him face the-_

-rising sun every-

_-night, and Alex can’t, he can’t, he-_

-can’t believe it. “Alex,” he breathes. “Please-”

_“-don’t,” Alex gasps, and shakes his head, tears falling down his face. “Guerin, I have to-”_

“-go, don’t go, please, just let me feel-”

_“-like I’m going to fall apart, and I have to stay strong. I can’t-”_

“-do this to me please,” Michael begs. “Alex, I’m-”

_“-sorry, sorry, sorry.”_

The connection shuts off like a light bulb bursting in a light socket, and it sends Michael reeling.

He gasps, hands pressed to his chest and falls to his-

 

-

 

-knees. They crack painfully against the wooden floor of the tool shed, but Michael is too busy scrambling for the buckle of Alex’s jeans to really care.

Alex slaps his hands away with a laugh when Michael fumbles, and says. “Let me do it, okay?”

Michael lets his hands fall to his lap, wiping them nervously against his thighs.

Alex doesn’t look put off by his eagerness. He’s smiling and giving Michael little nervous glances like he’s afraid that Michael is going to run away the second that he sees his cock.

Michael wastes no time tugging Alex’s jeans down to his thighs once he has them unbuckled. Alex lifts his hips to help and Michael just slides his pants to his knees before he’s leaning forward and tugging on the waistband of his boxers.

His mouth floods with saliva and he feels like he’ll die if he doesn’t get his mouth on Alex’s cock right the fuck now.

Alex’s hands grab his and when Michael looks up at him, the nervousness is edging out everything else on his face.

“Are you sure you want-?” Alex starts, but Michael cuts him off.

“Yes,” he says firmly and pulls his hands from Alex to fit them around his neck and tug him down for a kiss.

Alex sighs against his lips and kisses him back desperately, hands sliding into Michael’s hair and tugging.

Michael parts their mouths on a sigh, “I want this, okay?”

Alex exhales and nods his head.

Michael kisses him again and presses their foreheads-

 

-

 

-together, swaying in place. Michael shudders as they breathe in sync.

Alex presses his hand on Michael’s chest, and Michael’s heart thuds loudly in his ears.

He puts his hand on Alex’s chest as well, and the colors bleed into his vision, twilight blues edging into mauve and sickly yellow neon greens the yellow getting lost.

Alex gasps and it sounds like he’s in pain.

Michael moves his hand, sliding his fingers into Alex’s hair.

Alex keeps his hand pressed against Michael’s chest as Michael moves in closer.

He opens his eyes and sees Alex’s face, and feels warm and happy.

He digs his fingers into the back of Alex’s neck and slides their mouths together.

Alex’s mouth parts easily under his as he pushes in closer.

He presses his palm harder on Michael’s chest-

 

-

 

-and pushes him back shaking his head, “I didn’t come here for that.”

Michael licks his lips and takes a step back. “Then why are you here? Shouldn’t you be on a plane by now?”

Alex sighs and looks away. “My flight doesn’t leave for another four hours.”

Michael swallows hard and he can feel that his eyes are wet with tears, but he doesn’t look away when Alex looks back at him.

Alex pulls his bottom lip into his mouth and watches Michael intently for a few seconds before he lets it go and exhales sharply.

“I need to know-” he starts and cuts himself off. He looks away as though the words that he needs are going to appear out of thin air.

“This _thing_ between us,” he says still looking away pressing his hand to his chest.

Michael’s hand spasms, but he clenches it into a fist beside his right thigh to stop himself from copying the movement.

“Will it do something to us if we’re far apart?” he finally finishes and looks at Michael as soon as the last word passes his mouth.

Michael’s mouth feels dry and his brain feels fuzzy and there is a sharp pain in his chest.

“I don’t know,” Michael says quietly.

Alex furrows his brow. “But it didn’t seem to surprise you when-”

“Because I already knew it was there,” Michael cuts him off sliding his hands through his hair roughly.

“What is it?” Alex asks sounding a little scared, but mostly curious.

Michael shrugs. “I’ve tried finding an answer, but it’s-”

Michael cuts himself off and shrugs again. He can’t tell Alex that it’s probably more to do with his alien biochemistry than it has to do with anything Alex’s completely normal human DNA.

Michael clears his throat looking away. “The way I see it. All we can do is hope that everything will be fine.”

“Hope,” Alex says scoffing and looking away.

He drops his hand from his chest and exhales.

Michael watches him, trying to commit him to memory because he has a feeling that this might be the last time that he ever sees him.

Alex looks back at him, and Michael is moving towards him before he’s even aware of it.

Alex’s fingers dig into his back, and Michael’s hands slide across the back of his neck, and Alex kisses him hard and fast and just on the edge of painful, bruising his mouth with his teeth, and soothing the sting with his tongue.

Michael moans at the back of his throat and digs his fingers into the back of Alex’s neck keeping him close.

Alex’s hands slide underneath his shirt and he parts their mouths with a gasp, “Gue-

 

-

 

“-rin! There you are!”

Alex’s voice startles Michael out of the numbing haze the acetone had dulled his senses to

He twitches hard and it jumpstarts his entire nervous system, and he feels his like he was suddenly dunked into a frozen lake. The shivers wrack his body hard, and he starts gasping, and he can’t get enough air-

Alex is suddenly there, pressing in close to his back, arms wrapping around his shoulders, as he presses his hands on Michael’s chest and tugs him securely into his hold.

Michael presses the cast wrapped around his left hand to his shaking stomach and presses his trembling right hand over Alex’s pressed over his heart.

“Breathe with me. Listen to my heartbeat and breathe,” Alex whispers, and Michael tries and tries and tries, until their breaths are syncing up, and Michael can feel Alex’s heart thumping like an echo of his own heartbeat.

Michael tilts his head back against Alex’s shoulder, and Alex presses his face into Michael’s neck, lips pressed intimately close.

Michael pushes back against him and sighs feeling like maybe everything isn’t going to fall apart.

They exhale in sync and he can see the colors swirling around them, weaving in between and and around and filling Michael’s head with warmth and peace.

Alex presses a kiss to his-

 

-

 

-neck, opening his mouth to gasp as Michael continues to lower himself down until he’s sitting fully on Alex’s lap, his cock as deep as he can get it in this position. Alex’s thighs are hot and tense beneath him, the muscles of his stomach jumping against Michael’s stomach and his own cock pressed between them.

Michael settles himself and inhales deeply, trying to wait until he’s ready, but the tiny huffs of breath that Alex is doing are making it much more difficult than it should be.

Michael grabs one of Alex’s hands and presses it to his chest and inhales deliberately.

Alex huffs a little breath, but moves in closer, pressing his palm down on Michael’s chest and inhaling with him.

Their breathing syncs, and Michael can _feel_ the way that Alex’s heartbeat is matching his _deep_ inside.

They exhale together and Michael’s hand presses to Alex’s chest.

Deep plum and vibrant green wash over him in waves, surrounding and lighting up a fire deep in his chest that spreads like molten lava.

Alex gasps and rocks his hips a little punching a deep groan out of Michael’s chest.

Alex makes a whining noise at the back of his throat.

“It feels-it feels-it _feels_ ,” he tries to say gasping.

Michael nods his head and presses their foreheads together. “I know.”

He lifts himself up a little and drops back down, and they both groan into each other’s mouths, lips pressed close together, but not kissing, only sharing the air in between them.

“God, Guerin,” Alex says and his voice sounds wrecked and strained as he presses his hand harder against Michael’s chest. “You’re gonna be the death of-”

 

-

 

“-me, it might as well be you.” Michael says and then stops moving looking at Alex and willing him to understand.

“I’m not going to destroy you,” Alex says after a long moment of silence where all he does is stare at Michael.

“You already do,” Michael says voice cracking. “Every time you-”

Michael gasps and feels like the very fabric of the universe was bending around them.

Alex walks closer to him, and Michael can see in his eyes that he’s trying to be more open than he’s been since the night he held Michael together after he had to cover up Rosa’s murder.

Michael’s equilibrium seems to stabilize, and he feels an electric charge filling the air, a magnetized reaction that has him taking steps closer to Alex in sync with the same steps he takes to get closer to Michael.

“I lied,” Alex says when Michael gets close enough to slide his hands around his neck and into his hair. Alex watches him with wide eyes, and Michael watches him back. “I love-”

Michael kisses him and every single thought in his brain vanishes into thin air and all the chaos that surrounds him like buzzing angry bees underneath his skin calms down, and he feels like he’s right at the beginning of the universe, sparking with energy and teeming with possibilities.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!! Come yell at me on tumblr: [reachedthebitterend](https://reachedthebitterend.tumblr.com)


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